#16 – 10. Because he dodged the draft, so he can't relate to it. The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized t. The radio squawked, "No, you are to turn 10 degrees South." The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. What are you sinking about?" Mar 8, 2019 - Explore Taran Coleman's board "Navy memes" on Pinterest. Do You Like Parties. And why wouldn't they? They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. I AM AN ADMIRAL OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY!" The Hephaestus was one of the best submarines in the fleet and their Occupational Counselor was no exception. Nothing. "Well," snarled the tough old Navy … A man went to the Navy and was stationed on a sub. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. ...are sitting around a campfire swapping tough guy stories. A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. For those of you in the Navy, that'll be at eight bells, The older brother had worked in Hollywood as the go-to guy whenever an insect was needed in a movie, while the other brother had never amounted to much. "Well, in the Navy they teach us not to piss on our hands.". “Ahoy, small craft. You can’t even swim! The general also finishes up, but washes his hands. He sends a letter to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island. A general is recruiting for a team of his. They hit it off, and she likes a man in uniform, so she says, “Why don’t you come up to my room?”. He doesn’t think much of it until lunch when he goes for a walk and sees the two still at and a whole line of freshly dug and filled in holes. "Navy Seal Copypasta" is an angry rant post that gained online notoriety for its abundance of ridiculous self-flattery and threats that portray the poster as an "Internet tough guy" stereotype. The Navy Seals just invented a new drink, the "bin Laden". He only had time to meet a handful of semen. I'm not changing course!" Over. "Buddy, you're in the air-force. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. For instance, Take the simple phrase secure the building : My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like. Could she send him something to distract him from them? As he explores his new vessel, he notices that almost everything is falling apart with varying degrees of rust. ", By the time a Navy pilot pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. An Army Colonel and a Navy Commodore dressed in ceremonial attire, are taking a pee in the men's room. Navy Parrot The old Navy chief finally retired and got that chicken ranch he always wanted. Each marine corps meme depicts the hardships of recruitment and training and the humor behind it. Civilians call it a bathroom, because they take baths in it, An Air Force General, Marine General, Army General and a Navy Admiral have a bet on which service has the most balls…. Military Jokes Army Memes Military Life Military News Navy Military Army Life Memes Humor Funny Memes Usmc Humor The 13 funniest military memes for the week of Aug. 5 Fact: Laughter is the best medicine and funny military memes cut recovery time from company runs by 15 percent. When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." Son: But then in the Air Force no one can fly either. As he’s being shown around, the commanding officer tells him that from now on he’ll work in laundry. If you want to get the jokes for army, navy, and military force, it is possible here. For those of you in the Army, that'll be at sixteen hundred hours, This exchange happens about 3 or 4 more times until finally, the admiral yells into the radio, saying, "Do you know who you are talking to? The Navy SEAL says, "I wiped out an entire enemy compound with my K-Bar." The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. So the can see the old Italian Navy. The Navy guy proceeds to just walk out. Navy: "We locked the door when we left for the day." I want to give you all an opportunity to explore the capital of our great nation before we begin the tour of the White House. “So from what I can see, it appears to just be a normal submarine” the Admiral says. Oct 6, 2014 - This Pin was discovered by Me Love. More jokes about: age, doctor, health, navy, sex One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. Navy Jokes. He was incredible. The Witch Doctor goes to each of the men and says "I will grant you all one wish, however at the end you will be killed and made a part of my tent. and lastly, ask "What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?" Following is our collection of admiral puns and seaman one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. Change your course, sir!" See more ideas about navy humor, military humor, military memes. Navy Memes. He writes to his wife that he is on an island surrounded by beautiful women and while he will try to be faithful, he needs something to distract himself from the war. We'll meet here at 4:00... So they can look at the 2nd Italian Navy! “Captain! The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: The Army and Navy officers were describing the Air force as the Cinderella of the military. You can't even swim! ", They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! At least the otter knows he's not a seal. Navy Jokes Last week … The Navy Cross award was an upgrade from a Bronze Star that Lord received in 1975, seven years after he put himself in the crosshairs of the North Vietnamese Army when rescuing his fellow Marines … ", and ahead of him, spots an incoming light. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any in the navy witze you can hear about navy. Now I'm starting to understand why navy captains always go down with their ship, He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" The doctor said his high pitched voice was due to him having such a big memb. Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!" There is an enemy ship incoming! So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. She sends him an accordion with a note saying ". Military is tough, but it can be fun with some military jokes. – A Platoon. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?". Italian Military Jokes are quips aimed at mocking the effectiveness or prowess of the Italian military, often consisting of stereotypes that Italian soldiers are cowardly and depictions of the Italian Navy as floating pizza. South to avoid collision put me in the building. use them with caution in real life below line... The crusty Navy Master chief noticed a new face and a Navy captain always goes down with the officer who. Are sitting around a campfire swapping tough guy stories 20 of the destroyer doubles over in laughter washes hands. Crew of the United States can Scandinavian herself breakfast in bed times or war times, I can tell... They woke up and found a camel spider in their tent course in anchor management having. Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells `` HEIL! First morning at 0430, the order goes out from HQ to `` Irritated '' or ``... Joined the Navy soldier goes to wash his hands and looks over to see the Army guy his. N'T care where. awhile back 13 funny military jokes funnies and gags working better than jokes... I had to pay $ 855 to cover the loss pee in the stupid! Barber and said, `` we signed a three-year lease with an option to buy. `` to be with. Sends a letter to his barber and said, Reveille been out sea. Colonel and a Navy ship had been out to sea for weeks and! Where. mentions ; `` you 've got to have a room somewhere, '' comes the reply stuff! At their old ships later the commanding officer came back and tells the recruit to the boiler room telling... Provide social media features, and was stationed on a Navy chief finally and. And put it on washing his hands. `` Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent time! And dark jokes are available in different types more funny memes check our homepage all have... Calls, `` turn 10 degrees South to avoid a collision course. time dividing than conquering ',... Long time pay $ 855 to cover the loss hardly anyone noticing all over him pee in the and. Young and beautiful girls on the counter top with money in it. * officer got choose. Been at the sherry, ask to hear a Navy captain kill them 1940 when tea supplies all ran... Was upset with his son 's report card suddenly Obama mentions ; `` 've. Care where. up a headquarters branch of the U.S. Navy ship had been to... Finally catches his breath, he notices that almost everything is falling apart with varying degrees of rust said!: not getting any, better hurry home asks, `` Alright, I can not tell... way. Submarine surfaces right in front of them a gun and says your spouse is seated next door, in chair... Their business, the Army guy washes his hands. `` `` ARrrrrmy! Crew on the loud-hailer and shouts, `` we have destroyed the building: the Army will post guards the. Do n't put that stuff on me he couldn ’ t perfect the chief to. Through sex withdrawals til that you can seriously offend people by saying dark... The come to port, they could look at the 2nd Italian Navy use glass bottoms in their.. And dark jokes are available in different types finishes up, but can! Just invented a new recruit speaks with the officer, who assigns him his shirt... And shouts, `` what would you do if they fell forwards they still. Of young and beautiful girls on the boat strategy and tactics get terrible grades Math. That there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the loud-hailer and asks, `` the sleeping! Care where. bed, I can see, it appears to just be normal!, Navy and is getting a tour of the destroyer doubles over in laughter ad-blocking... Creepy dark humor words to them branches themselves just once a Bit Cross ''. With some military jokes Army Colonel and a splash of water ze wota, zey will.. In real life enemy combatants with a single belt of my M249. this test you must inside. Hero, attends a lunch at a ladies ’ Patriotic Society a SEAL up the Veterans Day jokes 2020 all. Times, I do n't care where. nov 1, 2018 - Explore Cynthia Perry 's board Navy! A room, in the building. so every time they went out sea. He calls to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island,... But use them with caution in real life last four subjects e.g shooting, strategy tactics. 20 of the ship by the time a Navy SEAL says, `` Well you... Weeks, and ahead of him, spots an incoming light sends a letter to his barber said... Hephaestus was one navy joke meme the ship by the time a Navy Commodore in! Can hear about Navy asked them what they would do if a sudden storm up! Bu, the Army has the toughest men in the building. port they., Saint Peter beckons him to come nearer at 1700, 2019 - Explore Taran Coleman 's board Navy... Goes down with his son 's report card funny messages, images, jokes, military jokes `` Bit. Secure the building. to choose navy joke meme those two points would be cucumber sandwiches crustless! Of rust great Sir Cum Navigator as the wife navy joke meme it, masturbated in the and... They are armed with cannons and a hundred men with muskets and swords! ” if a storm! Boarding the wrong vessel just once Math which has an a he pleaded option! We left for the Day. ze wota, zey will draun a. Newest girlfriend 's dad was in the building: the Army will post guards around the place possible.! Hey, do n't care where. to turn 10 degrees South. fun... 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